They say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’

I was just the tender age of 14 years old, when I embarked journey which was going to teach me a valuable lesson. We found out just weeks before his arrival, as my sister kept her pregnancy a secret. I can vividly remember that cold winter afternoon- Oct. 08,1999. I made the trip straight out of school dismissal. I remember having my backpack still on piercing through the hospital’s nursery glass windows. Right there in the middle of the nursery, there he was freshly bathed.

A new baby brought new emotions to the household. In silent, I made him the promise that for him I was not only going to survive but give us both a better future. My focus and desire of life shifted. The eldest family members made the decision without my awareness, that I was going to be the responsible figure in his life. In aftermath, it taught me a valuable lesson.

I have learned a valuable lesson

It all became Too much on my plate

I embraced the responsibility as it gave me something aside from the abuse to focus on. To me, taking care of my nephew was not a punishment. In other words, I enjoyed taking him to the doctors, watching after him, buy him whatever he needed, etc. But I’m not going to lie, at times it was a lot for a young teenager to have over her shoulders.

Regardless of it all. I graduated high school, helped raise my nephew, and continued with the promise. I did it for close to 12 years. In summary, my sister had granted me guardianship and I was able to have him move in with me. I brought him along with me, as I continued my education. I recall, adjusting my college courses to fit my role as the new appointed parent.

Until life took a hard twist, just 6 months into our new transition. My sister took her life, and her only surviving offspring was my nephew. If you have across the tragedy of suicide, you too will know, the difficulty the surviving members are left with.

Subsequently, the situation of my sister being gone and I becoming his sole guardian added an immensely emotional turmoil. Unquestionably it just brought tons of fire to our relationship. I didn’t know how to cope, and my life personally took a big hit. I took care of everyone else but myself. In conclusion I was vision blurred and due to it all we became distant.

During the moment I couldn’t see clearly

3 long years after my sister’s tragedy, once again life happened. Everything caught up with me and I hit rock bottom, resulting in me calling for help. At the time I was angry- felt like I had failed him. I wasn’t able to keep the promise. I hid in my shell and kept all my feelings and emotions to myself.

I’m happy I was able to let go, right when it had to happened. I knew I wasn’t equipped to raise him. It was an unimaginable pain to LET GO. I placed myself in the back line and watched from afar. I prayed and continue till this day to pray for him.

A village had formed to help him become the man he is today. Just yesterday, I witnessed his work as an adult, and I couldn’t contain my happiness. Man, I’m PROUD of who he is working towards becoming! I caught myself in silent once again like back in that October afternoon, mesmerized in pure joy!