Once you navigate the bullying and find your acceptance, you’ll embrace the power of your natural hair. It may take time and some trial and error but know that only you can make that change. Once, you come in rhythm with your new hair, the routine will no longer feel strange to you. Below, are the lessons that I have learned within my journey of acceptance!

A Caribbean Household

I come from a household that boy! do we have textures! Our curls pattern was all slightly different. Evidently, the truth was undeniably. BABYYY! the ancestor roots are well established and undeniable. Pero, I grew up with parents trying to cover up OUR ROOTS. And lord, God forbidden if you were one to embrace your natural/unkept hair.

Muchachaaaaaa the name calling was never ending!!! eso era from left to right “Mira!! pelo Malo!” “Ay pero que pajón!!”, “GIRL! you are not planning to step outta here with that frizzy, afro puff of hairstyle?!”. Consequently, the bullying within the household was like no other.

Throughout the years I tried multiple times to silence it all and allow my natural hair to be- to flourish. But many times, I would allow their stories get the best of me and once again I would go straight to the ‘white crack’ (Perm/relaxer). Basically, I said NO MORE to the relaxer and went natural on January 2020. BEST DECISION EVER!!! I embraced the power of natural hair.

I did the BIG CHOP! a feeling of liberation! BRAVERY! I was free of their stories and ready to start my OWN!.

It will take you some time

My Dearest, I went against all the name calling and as an adult-embraced the power of my natural curly, afro hair. Above all, I wear my Crown proudly!! BUT- Let me tell you, it did not come easily. I had to rediscover myself time and times again. Shut off my ears and create my own story.

Fueron muchos los fracasos y INTENTOS. Pero lo LOGRE AMIGA!-After all I love my Hair and wake up each morning with gratitude. As a matter of fact, I went through many trials and error finding the correct DIYs recipes and hair care plan that worked for me.

The big misunderstanding

Growing up I heard their stories about what HAIR is and how you’re supposed to feel with the type that you were born with. additionally, there are so many different types of hair and identities to go along with. As a result, I recall my hair being labeled as nappy, uncontrollable, unmanageable, and so many more negative connotations.

Growing up in a racist culture/household

I learned 5 things about myself.

  1. Their stories don’t have to be your narrative. In effect, I couldn’t understand why I had to get my hair permed in order to have acceptable hair by my parents/culture. It was a passage to society. Little girls would get their hair permed as their initiation to attending school- first time being out and in a much bigger social circle than your direct neighbors.
  2. Be proud for advocating yourself love. As a result of the bullying, I would get disciplined for stating that I love my hair the way it was. And increased the punishments when I would run away from the ‘perm’ salon chair. Basically, I felt my identity being stripped away and silenced by those that were supposed to love and care for me.
  3. Detach and recreate your OWN story. I decided to find out the why- why would I not break from the cycles. I came to find out that THEY did not like my hair, THEY found it difficult to deal with, and THEY labeled my hair as ‘dry and uncontrollable’.
    • I discovered YOUTUBE and my life changed- after many hours of videos watching and researching what worked for me. I finally gained the inner strength (CONFIDENCE) to embark on a diy hair care journey. I finally understood my hair and its needs. To me doing my hair is easy, is self-care, self-love, and appreciation for the goodness that I was born with! My CROWN! BEST DECISION EVER!!
  4. Acceptance- your hair is beautiful just the way it is! I did the big chop (when you cut all of your hair and start from scratch). I remember that morning on December 31, 2019, I grabbed them scissors and cut it all of (left less than an inch of hair was left on my scalp!).
    • My mom, walked in the bathroom and said I was crazy, she questioned my decision, and said “good luck”. I felt liberated, I loved the airy, freedom I was feeling with every chunk of hair falling off me.
  5. Learn and adapt- not all hair products will work for everyone and that’s ok. It will take some time to find your rhythm. Even with the few good DIY hair products on hand that I have curated by watching YouTube hair videos.
    • I’m still continuously learning and changing up the products and mixing up new ingredients in my kitchen. Good thing all of the ingredients I use are natural ingredients and I take a day of the week (usually Sundays) to prep up all of my hair care made at home products. (MY kitchen be a mess and let’s not mention the application process of these products lol). I love it! CHEMISTRY has always been a favorite subject of mine.
DIY hair mask time.
Letting my hair mask sit on my hair for hours (all the goodness/enrichment of nature going straight to my curls!)

AMATE! y ACEPTATE! Justo Como Eres! Love & Acceptance

In the end, forget THEIR STORIES and let’s create OURS! OWN that shit! Amiga tu puedes siempre y cuando decidas por ti misma que tu vida de ahora en adelante sera decision tuya como la vas a vivir! LIFE comes with many twists and turns but the beauty of it- is YOU! the main character in it!!! Regardless of it all LOVE & ACCEPT YOURSELF! and BE YOU!

Mi Pelo. Mi Identidad. My Identity, My story