Starting over is never easy, but for sure is hard as hell when it’s from a traumatic relationship which you’re bouncing back from. Specially going from having a very large network of friends/family/and acquaintances, to just myself and my children. He ripped me away from it all. Crazy to have gone through such ordeal and left in complete darkness and now starting all over again. I’m sharing with you my bounce back from a narcissistic entanglement, the twists and turns of it all!

I'm sharing with you my adventure/journey on my bounce back from a narcissistic entanglement

Left in the dark

It was the start of COVID and social media was a wreck, needless to say it added to the disaster of the current chaos I was in. Even more so, seeing the effects of the pandemic in such grandiose magnitude increased my depression. Finalizing on the decision to shut down my social media, left me with a very small number of contacts. These 2 twists were never planned.

Without even trying they synchronized and intertwined each other within the same time period. Both the decision to shut down my social media and go through with the plan of separating from my partner. I knew my decisions were going to cause a ripple effect on my life and everything I knew it as.

Even when left in the dark, there is always a glimpse of hope that the light will shine through! And you will bounce back from it all!

Previously, he had me cleaned out my phone and disconnect from all of my contacts and close friendships. At the time, it was the “solution” to all the arguments. Even more he claimed I was spending too much time on my phone and using my energy on too many people and leaving what matters unattended. (MAJOR RED FLAG). By the time I realized what had happened, it was too late. I had lost the charm of communication, having conversations with other people and even reaching out. Which had hurt me the most!

Because we were in the mist of the pandemic and my focus was moving on, the effects of his actions were not felt right then and there. Overall, it was just too much going on. Those who knew about my fallout became long distanced from me. And because the stage I was in, of repairing and being a single mom, it was that much difficult to reconnect with my old network. Making it even harder to bounce back up from my downfall.

When you fall, you can ALWAYS bounce back up! Even when the road ahead feels so far away

Moving On- The pre-phase of the bounce back

As an adult is already tough enough to start making new friends or relinked back up with old friendships. Evidently everyone just moves on and have their own business to deal with. As a result, I know first-hand what it is to not have anyone to call up and vent or hear a good advice from.

During the time of turmoil, those that were left, and I confided in were of no help. As a matter of fact, those relationships felt like a burden, because they were not understanding or supportive of my decisions. Instead of being a group of individuals that provided moments of relieve, they instead increased my anxiety and created more unwanted chaos in my life.

It’s crazy even writing it out, because those who knew me back then know the amount of people whom I had connections with. As life goes, when you fall, you fall SOLO, and realize who are your true people standing next to you. I had to learn this the hard way!!! I was just too gullible and trustworthy.

Without this life lesson I wouldn’t be able to move on. By the same token, when you fall down you have no other option than to RISE up and push even harder and succeed! Sometimes starting all over again from ground zero is what you need to become the person you were meant to be!

The cleanse phase

Throughout it all it was a blessing under disguised. I needed a cleansed from everything that I was connected to. Even when during the course, when I was down and depress and couldn’t comprehend it all. Not going to lie, it was all a blur and many WTFs moments. My phone was dry for months with no incoming texts/calls. It was my harsh reality.

No time, so sit back in sorrow. I shook it all off and accepted the challenge. By all means, I’m an introvert and a believer that with GOD you got everything and everyone you need by your side! Once again, I hit reset on my phone and with my luck at the time, lost the 3 only contacts I had in it. BUT surprisingly I gained some old contacts from years ago.

My crazy self, one afternoon decided to reach out to those numbers (I think it was like 5 new/old contacts that reappeared on my contact list). Despite the randomness I got 2 replies back, 1 of which was my now partner. Read more about that love story HERE. That was the 1 friendship that I needed at the time! From there on, I left it all to the almighty, full submission! Starting over brand new, even if I wasn’t understanding of the moments that I was in.

The Bounce back

Because of everything, I’ve been through, I see people differently. As a result, I have gained prospective of what is to be LONELY (sometimes Loneliness is not as lonely as you think) and have gained wisdom beyond believe.

I found this book that helped me tremendously to deal with my inner pull. Chiefly it helped to calm down the inner stress between my old self and whom I was becoming. All things considered, my new perspective in life is one that I now embrace. I have had to start all over again, and instead of relying on an individual to hear me out and give me sound advice, I turn to HIM during my times of worries and weakness.

Another key point, I’ve been able to bounce back thanks to my faith and therapy. I had to trust the process and peel away layers of me like an ONION. As a result, I am now rebuilding my network and confide in the ALMIGHTY that I will reach all of my goals and beyond. All in all, I’m understanding my purpose and place in this world.