Navigating Narcissistic Co-Parenting

Co-parenting with a narcissistic ex-partner can be a challenging experience. Narcissists have a tendency to prioritize their own needs and desires above those of others. Therefore, it can create conflict and make it difficult to effectively co-parent. However, with the right strategies and mindset, it is possible to navigate narcissistic co-parenting and make it easier for both you and your children.

It has taken me 2+ years to learn and put into practice how to navigate co-parenting. Nevertheless, share with others what I’ve been through. I knew, the minute I made my mind to exit from the relationship that the interaction between us was going to be hell! I embarked in the journey of healing and acquiring powerful techniques for the sake of myself, but most importantly the children.

Tips and Strategies for Making it Easier

  1. Establish clear boundaries: One of the most important things you can do when co-parenting with a narcissist is to establish clear boundaries. This means setting limits on communication, not engaging in arguments or power struggles, and sticking to the custody agreement.
  2. Focus on your children’s needs: Narcissists often prioritize their own needs over those of their children. So, it’s important to stay focused on what’s best for your kids. This may mean compromising on certain issues. Followed by putting aside your own emotions, and working together to make decisions that are in their best interests.
  3. Stay calm and avoid emotional reactions: Narcissists often thrive on drama and conflict, so it’s important to stay calm and avoid emotional reactions. This can be challenging, but it’s important to remain level-headed and not get drawn into arguments or power struggles.
  4. Keep communication brief and to the point: When communicating with a narcissistic co-parent, it’s best to keep your messages brief and to the point. Avoid getting into long conversations or debates, as this will only lead to more conflict and frustration.
  5. Document everything: It’s important to keep detailed records of all communications and interactions with your co-parent. This can include emails, text messages, and notes from phone calls or in-person meetings. This will help protect you if any issues arise in the future.

With time things will get easier

Co-parenting with a narcissist is never easy. In effect you need to start proactively practicing the 5 tips from above. Know that you can make the process smoother and more manageable. Remember to take care of yourself and seek support if needed. Last but not least, always prioritize the well-being of your children above all else.

I recall, a good friend of mine once told me “Coma! I promise it will get better”. Between the tears, those words were feeling too far away. I wasn’t sure how I was going to continue doing it. But as the time went on, I would find myself hearing my good friend’s phrase repeating in my head. I started gently adapting to the free time (well kind of free time- because I still had 2 older children to take care of). Funny thing is that, with time I started to reprogram my focus and redirect my energy to self-care during the times the kids were away.