Words that can penetrate and create a whirlpool of events

Diantre, palabras que me penetran el alma! All types of feelings and emotions go through me when I come across those words ‘You Are Enough.’ It has taken me 36 years to accept such phrase. After 3 narcissistic abusive relationships and intense healing therapy I could confidently state that yes! I AM ENOUGH!

Discovery

First it took me time and understanding of each one of those relationships. Then acceptance of the phrase, followed by implementing into my life and it later became my mantra. To believe is power! This journey of self-acceptance and self-discovery has its moments and but in total it’s a blessing. You become fulfilled and live life to the fullest.

My Three Encounters with Narcissistic Abuse

  1. My 1st Narcissistic Abuse encounter
    • I was born into it. All of my childhood being told that you were just the ‘chosen’ one and have no choice but to grow a thick skin and move on from the abuse. I couldn’t understand why I was not wanted by my sperm donor, whom I had to address as Dad.
    • It was a fight of survival, either him or I for the 11years that I lived in the hell. It was called back then, alcoholism- explanation given to his actions. I went no contact and am still healing till this day.
  2. My 2nd Narcissistic Abuse
    • I chose this one. I know crazy, long story. But I thought I was healed and good to go as long as I didn’t engage into an alcoholic partner then I was good to go. Buenoooo, ahy esta el agarre. La definicion dada de mi mayor abuso fue erronea. My father on top of being an alcoholic his major personality is a narcissistic abuser. which I had no idea such definition was even part of a dictionary back then.
    • well, my dears, I encountered this (what I thought back then) amazing partner. And let me tell you, within 5 years of that relationship, I lost myself (complete ghost of whom I am) I was so lost but only knew I wanted out (alive/or dead). I am a very determined individual by nature. April 2020, I said NO more! ENOUGH! and I embarked on one of my hardest, darkest journeys thus far. I was a shell of a human but was determined to find myself.
  3. My 3rd most complex Narcissistic Abuse
    • This one by far has been the hardest- was the relationship between my mother and me. I just learned last week the exact label- TRAUMA BOUNDING! Un dolor inexplicable! Una acceptacion que sentia que de mi ya no havia mas fuerzas para seguir. It all pointed out towards her. But I just couldn’t accept it, because all of my life all I wanted was for HER to accept me. To love me and care for me the same way she did for each and every single one of my siblings. I became her servant, and she became my biggest most abuser of all 3.
    • BUT! amigoooos!! listen! when I found the phrase YOU ARE ENOUGH- it clicked!! I said done with the begging and accept that I AM ENOUGH!! it was relief that I just can’t explain. Man, when I took that phrase and wrote it out, I cried out all of my DEMONS. I was finally able to be FREED from it all.